Secrets

I am terrible with secrets. Really awful. So this whole "not telling people I'm pregnant" thing is not going well. Especially not with the weird shit that keeps happening to me.

I found out I was pregnant on a Sunday. That week at work was torture. I was still in shock, walking around in a daze, and really starting to feel the fatigue of the first trimester. I got a few questions and comments about how I seemed to be "out of it" or really tired. I brushed them all off - allergies, trouble sleeping last night, I'm always like this you just never noticed, whatever. By Friday afternoon I was tiiiiiiired - both literally sleepy and tired of keeping my secret.

I spend a good part of many of my days in the courthouse and/or the jail. So Friday afternoon I decide I need to 1) avoid the part of the week where people sit around the office chatting and joking around and 2) get a jail visit out of the way so there is no chance I have to do it Saturday. I drag my butt out the front door. To get to the jail, I walk right past the courthouse entrance. As I'm approaching it another lawyer from my office is walking towards me. Someone I really like. One of the coolest, most fun people in my office and someone I always have time to BS with. So I stop and we start. Just then, the courthouse door opens and a small child walks out with his dad. I'm not good with age but I'll guess 3. Borderline between baby and child. This baby/child takes one look at me and lights up like a Christmas tree. He takes off from his dad at a flat run and throws both arms around my legs in a huge hug, looking up at me with some gorgeous long eyelashes and a very serious expression. Oh boy.

So I'm completely flustered, dad is a bit in shock but also amused, and my colleague is dy-ing. She cannot stop laughing. And then she starts: "It's a sign!" Ugh. I honestly don't even remember what I said to her but I know I was blushing, avoiding eye contact, and prying a child off my legs so I could run away. I could barely look her in the eye the next week. It's like she knows. Or I'm just paranoid. And really bad with secrets.